What’s in a surname? Preparing for Married life and leaving my maiden name behind.


Typically speaking, when women get married to men it usually goes without saying that yes, she will take his surname. It’s become a cultural convention in the UK and thought of as the norm; though while it’s not a legal requirement – why do people still change their name?

 

For those that wish to have children and start a family, it’s an easy thing to take your new husbands name and all sharing the family name.  Meanwhile, others believe that the act is an "outdated tradition" with sexist connotations that represent a woman being handed over like a product from her father to her husband who now owns her - can you imagine!

 

Personally, I see it as being proud to share the name of my new husband; who’s family have welcomed me into theirs, it bonds us together, shows my commitment and really would make me feel ‘married’ as opposed to if I kept my surname and added ‘Mrs’. - that’s my mother.

 

However, as much as I am delighted to change my name when I marry, I am absolutely going to miss it, I’ve already started grieving it! I’ve made it to 29 years of age with the surname I have now, and it has become an integral part of my identity. It connects me with my family, to my Mum and Dad; being an only blood child as well I do feel like I’M the one pulling the family apart – let alone the fact they split up about 23 years ago. How weird is that feeling?

 

Double barrelling isn’t really an option for us, it’d be an unnecessary mouthful that wouldn’t flow at all. Sometimes I wonder if I could move my maiden name into my middle names but is it worth the hassle, or am I just fondly holding onto something that’s a bit silly to get a bit teary over? I am however really looking forward to being the only person in the world with my new name – spelt right of course. I’ve found 40 people online that share my current name, so in a way it is carrying on somewhere 😉.

 

I am going to part with my surname with a happy and heavy heart; it has been who and what I am. From my birth certificate to my coat pegs at nursery school, to now my professional email signature and all my recent qualification certificates! New name new me? Maybe. Time to reinvent myself and brace myself for my first year of my 30s (at the end of the yeah a-hem) new name new woman. Bring it on.

 

What’s really in a name anyway, the blood in my veins connects me to my Mum and Dad. I have her smile and his eyes, that’s what really connects us and makes us family. I’m just getting married and making my family bigger <3 




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